Her husband collapses when he turns on the computer

My mother died hours after giving birth, and her husband collapsed

On March 24, 2008, Matt Loughlin announced the birth of his daughter on his blog. “Madeleine is here! The proud parents will continue to tell everyone about our beautiful baby. Expect more good news. But the next message, four days later, contained the opposite of the good news. The mother had just died of pulmonary embolism 27 hours after Madeleine was born.

Liz collapses when Matt and his nurses prepare her to see her baby. Madeleine was born at 33 weeks and went straight to the neonatal intensive care unit. Liz was excited about the visit, taking a training tour in her hospital room after five weeks of bed rest. As she sank into her wheelchair, she muttered, “I’m dizzy” and fainted.

“Suddenly it shocked me,” he says. “She would have died today here in this hospital. She would never hold her baby in her arms. Liz had seen Madeleine in passing after an emergency C-section. She had never carried him and never would.

Finding solace through blogging

After the funeral, Matt left for the hospital, bottle feeding Madeleine while he was dressed in his funeral costume. He was in Minneapolis for the mother’s second memorial service when the story ran on the front page under the headline “Without Liz, but Not Alone.” Suddenly Matt’s blog was filled with people who were drawn to this most influential story, and the traffic increased exponentially.

As he continued his updates, Matt realized how important the blog was to his survival – and also that it allowed him to create a file for Madeleine about what he did in their beginnings together. “In many ways, it’s a love letter to Madeleine and Liz. Liz will never read, of course, I want Madeleine to know that her dad didn’t just sit around and start drinking heavily. I want her to know I was there, doing everything I could for her and trying to make her happy as possible.”

The original intention was to stop updating the blog after a year. However, it has reached an average of 50,000 visitors per day. While a number of them came from old readers, a new generation of readers began arriving—not to advise or comfort Matt, but to ask for advice themselves. The blog about this life without a mother has suddenly established itself as a forum for parenting help, but it is also a space where young widows and widows have come to discover how to deal with sudden bereavement.

Charity in honor of Madeleine’s mother

As time passed, Matt calmed down. He started a charity with the help of some of his enthusiastic blog readers in honor of the missing mother, the Liz Loughlin Foundation. Run by volunteers, the organization is a testament to the power of the internet in uniting people for the greater good.

Over time, his readers have changed. The blog receives 15,000 visitors per day. It’s still a decent number, but it’s a fraction of the traffic at its peak. Some insensitive readers wrote to complain that Matt was “more interesting” during the first year of his daughter’s life. Similarly, when Matt posted about his new relationship with Brooke, an early blogger, some of his followers were unhappy; In addition to the congratulations, some accused him of “sweeping Liz under the rug”.

The vast majority of its readers are kind and understanding. Without them, there would be no Liz Loughlin Foundation nor a broader support network for Matt and Madeleine. He says he’s always tried to write down what worries him most and what he thinks Madeline would like to hear in the coming years. This is what helped maintain the quality of altruism that made the Code so mandatory. Which he hopes will bring comfort to those who have recently been lost. Proof of that, even if you don’t want to, life goes on and you can become happy again.

Matt has written a book about Madeleine’s first year without her mother, Two Kisses For Maddy, which will benefit the Liz Logelin Foundation. To learn more, you can also visit mattlogelin.com and twokissesformaddy.com

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